He’s/She’s just not that into you

Today’s thought are about all those Sat nights that you sit at home because “he said he’d call” and you believed him. Oh, I remember those days and nights. Just when you thought you met that perfect someone and you were finally going to be living happily ever after, and Bam they fizzle out faster than a sparkler in the middle of a thunderstorm.

Long ago when I was single I did this just like most single people do. I remember seeing an author on some talk show that had written the book “Surrendered Single” and “Surrendered Wife”.  If you are single or a wife, please stop reading right now and go buy either of these books. I love how it teaches you to go for what you deserve and not settle. It also teaches you how to teach men how to treat you. You know what slow learners they are.

While you’re at the book store or Amazon go ahead and grab “He’s just not that into you”. It’s harsh I know. So many people refuse to see the real picture and force others to be rude to get the point across.
Probably a good rule of thumb with everyone in life, not just boyfriends, but anyone is that if they are not calling 9 times out of 10 its because they don’t want to. Unless they were kidnapped and living in some under world in Cambodia all of us have access to technology.

So I guess the lemon portion here is that if you are sitting at home drowning your sorrows with a Sex and the City marathon wondering why you are alone when “he said he would call”- you picked a lemon. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and go have some fun. When you get to the point that you can go to a restaurant, not fast food, and eat by yourself, then you’re stable/secure material for Mr. Right to come sweep up.

A MAN WHO IS WORTH YOUR TEARS WILL NEVER MAKE YOU CRY!!!

Until next time- safe picking

Men Cont.

Well the topic I have on my mind today is meeting men online.
There is match.com singlechristians.com swingers.com lonelyladies.com and may as well be ijustneedsomeonetotellmeimpretty.com.

If you’re going to do this there need to be some ground rules. First of all if they only place you can find to take your profile pix is the bathroom mirror with the toilet in the background or your car over the steering wheel, you probably aren’t going to seem very exciting to potential suitors. Find a tree to stand in front of.

Rule #2 is don’t agree to marry anyone you meet online until you have met them in person. Seriously? Rule #3 do not send them money or believe anything they tell you for 6 months. I personally think that meeting people online is a fabulous idea. Years before my prince came along I did some online browsing. I loved the idea of dating from my couch in my pj’s and not having to waste my make-up on any losers. I even remember a few that I thought were perfect, like Mr. Grisham, we’ll call him. Mr. Grisham was an author and lived in a very wealthy neighborhood. He came to my work one day (thank you Jesus) I wasn’t there, and brought me flowers. When my secretary called me and was able to stop laughing she explained that he was 4 ft tall. Looked just like his profile but only 4 ft tall. Another encounter was with magic Mike. I actually met him out a few times. Under magics hidden carpet was the fact that he was a male stripper and the love of his life was in prison. I was just his in between. I was devastated, NOT!

I’m just saying to be very careful because trying to find true love online is a very easy place to stumble across lemons of all shapes, colors, age and sizes.

Back to the lemons- If you find yourself heartbroken or just broke due to someone you met online this my dear is picking a lemon.

Again, thank you for reading along and email me if you have any questions or comments at tammy@handedlemonorpickedalemon.com

Until next time- safe picking.

Tammy

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Men, oh my!!

I really did decide to start with a doozy, didnt I? To start with let me lay the ground rules. #1 I am changing the names to protect those that really need to be stabbed and locked in a porta potty. #2 this will not be for the faint of heart. If you dont want someone telling you how it is you should just leave and go turn on Delilah.

Here goes. So many women including myself make some horrible choices when it comes to men. One of mine biggest mistakes was that when the first one didn’t work I thought I needed to go the opposite direction and it would be all rainbows and roses. WRONG! After mentally and fianacially destroying me I spent many months wallowing in pity and depair. HeeHaw called and wanted me to do their cornfield skit I was so bad (HeeHaw is not going to ring a bell for anyone under 35). Everyday I had to deal with some mess he caused. I had no self esteem. At times I was afraid to be alone. I ended up having to sell my house cause I couldn’t afford it and move in with my sister. I went from having everything to having a bedroom. But you know what, I chose to marry Mr.What the Hell was I thinking. Thats his name for this blogs purpose. Then the day came that I thought I was ready to date and maybe give men another chance without killing them and telling Jesus they died. But I was so screwed up that I continued to pick one loser after another. I got in a cycle of dating people I’d dated before just cause they were comfortable. But then it dawned on me that, you know, I wouldn’t be eating crap sandwiches everyday if I’d hadn’t made the choice to marry this man. So, no matter how awful he was, ultimately I made the choice so I can’t blame anyone but my self. I see now that probably 50% of crap I dealt with back then that I brought on myself. I had a friend who I once was very close with but not so much now. But, I’ve never forgotten what J said to me. She said “as long as you’re broken all you’re going to attract is broken people”. OMGOODNESS thats good stuff!! It’s ok to be alone. If you’re still screwed up the only people who are going to be around you are in a pit deeper than you are. We attract people like ourselves. Ok so I know some of you are ticked at me for that last statement but it’s true.
So this is a perfect lesson where I picked the lemon myself.

This just scratches the surface of these complicated creatures so I think this will take a few more sessions to unwind this ball of duck tape that we call men.
If you have any questions or comments email me at tammy@handedlemonorpickedalemon.com
I would also love if you have a scenario you need some assistance with.
Until next time, safe picking

Were you handed a lemon or did you pick it?

This blog was inspired by several encounters with some different ladies and also from my past life. I guess the point is to learn the difference in being dealt a bad hand and choosing a bad hand. I used to think that I have had the worst luck and life and been so difficult for me. Now I come across so many others (women mostly but a few men too) who have this same opinion.

How to understand the difference and start to move on from either

Sept 30th 2012
I hope you choose to follow along on the journey and please feel free to email me if you have questions or comments. I can be emailed at handedlemonorpickedalemon@gmail.com. To begin with the reason I feel like I can talk about this is because I’ve lived and/or survived the things I talk about. Some things I’m still struggling with. I hope this journey can help others and also whip me back into shape on the things that I still need to work on. So many people just throw themselves pity parties on a daily basis and I have come to learn that so much stuff we create ourselves. Once you learn the difference in the two things it can make life easier. I will be starting my first entry tomorrow Oct 1, 2012 with the complicated issue of men. Hope you will join me.